Elder Perrin - 26 Aug 2009

Hey, thanks so much for your love. Well, I loved the email, it was good to hear from you and dad. Dad's advice is dead on the money, but I don't know, I think I might be taking it too far. You see, I see it the same way, and instead of just keeping a good pace at missionary work, it seems I've gone over the edge. I don't know if it's true, it might be just an excuse I give myself for not seeing what the Lord sees. So I go this whole time in this area, not seeing anything come about. And I mean nothing. We teach people but they aren't interested, and we talk to people all the time ( I mean all the time) to find out who is interested. And they aren't. And I don't get discouraged yet, just thinking to myself, "Oh well, the Lord has a purpose for everything..." and stuff like that. But then I get the statistics at zone conference, and mine don't match up at all. In fact mine are way way way below normal. And despite that I talk to probably 10 times the amount of people, I have nothing to show for it. Now it's not about that, at all, it really isn't and I know that. But it does bring up the doubt of, " What am I doing wrong?" So then we go to the book, am I sincere? Do I keep the rules? Am I doing my best? Do I talk with everybody? Am I using time wisely? Yes, yes, yes, yes, and yes. So what is it? Talk to more poeple. But then it seems that the more people I talk to, no joke, the less work we have. That is not an exageration. It's frustrating. Not only that, but my companion writes letters to his girlfriend while we're on the street. I'm talking to this guy and he's chillin' writing a letter. So I guess I just mean it would be nice to see the picture God sees. I'm trying. Lord knows I'm trying. Wow, I'm just tired. So not that I was trying to prove anything to you, but I'm trying. It's nearing the end, but I'm not one to do anything half way, or three fourths the way. We go all the way. The last part of the race should be your fastest. And to be honest, I feel horrible about the money. I don't think I've done a very good job. I don't want to blame it on something, but broken bikes don't help and emergency transfers don't help either. So I'm sorry about the money. I'm trying my best, if you saw what I eat you would know. The other week I wanted to yell at my companion. Here's why. I buy flour, and sugar, and milk, and oil, and eggs, and fruit sometimes, and things to cook like that. And I make food, and I lovingly share because I love to do that. And I don't ask for him to buy stuff to help out. I just spend my money and hope he might say one day, "Dude, I'll buy that, you always buy the food." Okay. Cool. But he hasn't. Okay. No big deal. Well it wasn't, until I found out that the money he saved up on his mission card, he used that money to buy a new camera. I don't know why he chose to do that, he has plenty of money at home. And I don't know why I shared that, my point is that I'm trying my best with the money. It's just hard sometimes. So anyway, thanks for all the news from home. I'm glad for Zach. I really hope he does good. I didn't know Jon worked at the college. But I was wondering if you have all the pictures from my card, because you didn't erase any pictures this time. So, do you just put the pictures on a cd? Should I erase them and use the card? To be honest, I don't even think I'll need it. I think I have plenty of room on my other card. So anyway, this past little bit of time has been difficult to not beat myself up. I tend to do that; just seeing my weaknesses. And finding out about Candace today didn't really help out that much either. So that's why I really appreciate the emails and stuff. Man, I feel like a woman today, and like it's just my time of the month or something. I apologize for the wierd email. I don't think I'm 100 % in my head lately. Lord knows I'm trying. Tell charlie I love him.
Love Curt
p.s. what does 143 mean?

Elder Perrin - 19 Aug 2009

Mom, I just love you. Can I just say that? You are the best. Good thing I came out here on this crazy ride of a mission or I don't think I wouldn't realized how stupid I am. You sound like your excited for Dec 10th??? I can't even tell you how excited I am. Maybe I shouldn't be, but I am super excited. We should hand out. Dad is awesome too. I didn't even say happy birthday to him, what is my problem??? Can you tell him happy birthday for me? And that i love him a lot. I loved your words of wisdom. I can't wait for your talk. It made me excited to read from Doctrine and Covenants. I hate reading from Doctrine and Covenants; Absolutely despise it. I don't know why. Maybe because it's hard for me to recognize the love in the lords vioce or I don't know. I think this could help me gain a testimony on the Doctrine and Covenants. Anyway, you are so smart. What you said about Brian, you like nailed it right on the head. I was thinking the exact same thing when I read that. It's so true, and here I am gossiping about it. He thinks he's Jesus sometimes, it really is true, I just feel bad for Zach. Man, I am so glad he's going to college though, so happy. I wish I could've been there to see Ilah and Spencer in the temple, so badly. I would've been balling the whole time though, no joke. It makes me so happy. Well things are good here. I've been in Chicago for almost a year now, that is crazy. School is starting again, that is crazy. All kinds of people are having babies, that is just crazy. Things are just crazy. My time is running out, and I'm so glad. This summer has been amazing. There has been no heat. I feel bad for all the swimming pools. They probably made no money this year. Sorry I didn't email you last week or the week before. I don't think I got your email because I haven't gotten an email for the past 2 weeks. I don't know if you sent it or something and it didn't come. I need to ask again, did you get my memory card??? Please tell me you did. But don't lie to me. If it didn't come you can tell me. I will cry for a while and then get over it. I wonder if you got my email where I asked you the first time. I don't know, anyway, I love you tonz. Thank you for everything and have a good good week. You're amazing.
Love, Curtis
P.S. oh yeah, do i need to do anything for college??? papers, classes??? let me knowlove you
P.S. again - oh yeah, and tell dad that i am completely down for this girl if he wants me and her to hook up, you should tell this girl to write me, and talk me up too. ha ha, that would be so cool. but seriously, do it. i trust you guys, i think. alright, love youlove curtis

Elder Perrin - 5 Aug 2009

So first, I just need to say that mom, you're in my prayers. And since we all know that missionary prayers are heard more often that everyone elses prayers, I'll pray a lot for you. : ) Ok, so only the hispanic people here think that, but we still love them so much. So I keep forgetting to ask, did my camera card arrive safely home?? No one said anything about it, and so I'm really sick to my stomach that something happened to it. Let me know, please. I sent it like a month ago.

So I weighed myself the other day. I weigh 170. That's just way too light, way too light for me. I'm a little guy, well it feels like it anyway. I went into the MTC at 225 or so, and I'm just way too skinny. The thing is that I can eat. Lord knows I can eat. I'm just tired of cooking. I cant explain it. I'm burnt out on cooking food, so hopefull I'll put some wieght back on when I get home. I think a lot of it that I've lost is muscle weight. That's why I still have a little bit of a gut, but I just need some food. No, what I need is a desire to cook me some food. Lately, I just would rather eat a quick meal and take a 15 minute nap. Maybe we should not skip dinner either. So the transfer just started, and I'm still here in Albany Park, the city area. Things are good.

I got Ilahs letter on Saturday. It was honestly the happiest day of my entire mishion, hands down the most joy I've felt since day one. When I read the letter and card thing, I just got this overwhelming feeling of love and happiness and relief that I've never felt before. Finally, Ilah is going to the temple, and who out of all our family deserves the blessing of the temple. Ilah of course. Who has the cutest and most awesome family that needs to be there after this life? They do duh. Man, I can't even explain it. It was the greatest moment ever. No more waiting. She's going to the temple. I wish I could be there. Although it was a great learning experience for me. For a long time I've wanted to obtain a strong desire to go to the temple, somehow to have a strengthened testimony about it. But I could never figure out how to have more desire to go. For a long time I had doubts that I would be a solid temple visiter when I got home. But I realized, Ilah and spencer are not the only ones waiting. They waited six years, people above have waited hundreds, maybe more to be able to recieve the same blessings. And I , selfish Elder Perrin, can't even find a desire to make a trip to the temple here and there to help out my brothers and sisters??? Man I'm shallow. I can't believe myself sometimes. I didn't even realize How stupid I am, as if I forgot these people we do the work for are real people. Man, I'm a joke. I think the joy for Ilah and Spencer must be 10 times greater, compared to the joy someone feels when they're just newlyweds. Am I right?? That's what I would think. That's just so amazing how they're doing it. It makes me so happy. We'll just say the tears were pouring while I was reading that letter. Yes, I'm a little cry baby. That's just the way God made me. Dad, can I just say you are the man. I'm so glad you raised me. We won't blame the fact that I'm a cry baby on you. That I think I got from mom. It's all right though. Hopefully at my homecoming talk I won't cry.

Thanks for looking for a car for me : ) Hopefully you can find something cheap, and easy to fix. My dream car is still the one Chels wrecked. Just a really small truck, like Tam's. But good luck finding something. I really appreciate it. I wish I could just ride a bike everywhere in Utah. It would save me such a hassle, and money. Well, life here is good. I be eating a lot of rice, and beans, and more rice and beans. It's a good combo. The Mexicans know whats up. Love you mommy. Love you dad. The gospel is true. The prophet talks with God. The Book of Mormon is true.

Love curt

I forgot to tell you. I have some bad news. My bike broke, well not broke, it's totaled. My frame is cracked, at the bottom, and it's unweldable because of rust, and if I continue to ride it, the guy said the post could brake comepletely, which would fold my bike in half. If I were riding that while that happened, well, I could die. So I had to retire the bike. But I got a different bike, from another elder that's going home this transfer, so I'm all set. I just thought you'd want to know that the 150 bucks I spent on fixing that bike up, just went down the drain. Sorry, it's just my luck.

Elder Perrin - 29 July 2009

I really miss your sense of humor sometimes, and I was glad to hear a good report of The family reunion. I can't really say I would've loved to have been their, because, well, it's the family reunion. But you made me laugh a little, I could tell you tried super hard to have a good time, sitting and talking for hours. That's good. Next year I think you and our family should plan it. Golf tournament, and if you don't know how to play, you can't come. That basically eliminates almost every body, so that means we could have a family reunion of you, me, zach, and charlie, and play golf for a week. : ) I'm down for that. No but your a good sport dad. I always have admired you for that. So this week we got dropped by a lot of poeple, that was a bummer. But we had a lady come to church for the first time with her less active husband. That was good. The weather here is just super amazing. I mean, just absolutely perfect, I couldn't ask for better. I don't understand it, maybe i'ts hotter than I think and I'm just smokin, but I am pretty sure i'ts been cooler than last summer was here. The other day we had the senior missionaries take us to this famous barbeque place here in Chicago. It was pretty good. It made me want to go to that one barbeque place I loved, I forgot the name. The place where I would always order the pulled pork and beans. But it was tastey. I'm trying to gain wait lately, it's not really working. I'm a light wieght now, it's kind of pathetic. I'm sure charlie could beat me up now, I wiegh like 175. Other than that, nothing much has been going on. Last p day we went on like a 45 mile bike ride through the forest reserve, and we brought the zone leaders who don't ride their bikes anymore because they have a car. When those two got home, they both threw up and barely made it up the stairs up thier house. It was a funny story. Anyways, thanks for everything. I shouldn't need any money because I only spent like 20 dollars from the money mom gave me a while ago. So I'm good. Thanks though. I was sad to hear about Chris. That is a bummer, it must feel like a betrayal. That's got a hurt. I never thought that would happen. I'm glad to hear you have work, that is a huge blessing. Huge. I pray for you all the time. Thanks for all the love and support.
Love Curtis