Elder Perrin - 29 July 2009

I really miss your sense of humor sometimes, and I was glad to hear a good report of The family reunion. I can't really say I would've loved to have been their, because, well, it's the family reunion. But you made me laugh a little, I could tell you tried super hard to have a good time, sitting and talking for hours. That's good. Next year I think you and our family should plan it. Golf tournament, and if you don't know how to play, you can't come. That basically eliminates almost every body, so that means we could have a family reunion of you, me, zach, and charlie, and play golf for a week. : ) I'm down for that. No but your a good sport dad. I always have admired you for that. So this week we got dropped by a lot of poeple, that was a bummer. But we had a lady come to church for the first time with her less active husband. That was good. The weather here is just super amazing. I mean, just absolutely perfect, I couldn't ask for better. I don't understand it, maybe i'ts hotter than I think and I'm just smokin, but I am pretty sure i'ts been cooler than last summer was here. The other day we had the senior missionaries take us to this famous barbeque place here in Chicago. It was pretty good. It made me want to go to that one barbeque place I loved, I forgot the name. The place where I would always order the pulled pork and beans. But it was tastey. I'm trying to gain wait lately, it's not really working. I'm a light wieght now, it's kind of pathetic. I'm sure charlie could beat me up now, I wiegh like 175. Other than that, nothing much has been going on. Last p day we went on like a 45 mile bike ride through the forest reserve, and we brought the zone leaders who don't ride their bikes anymore because they have a car. When those two got home, they both threw up and barely made it up the stairs up thier house. It was a funny story. Anyways, thanks for everything. I shouldn't need any money because I only spent like 20 dollars from the money mom gave me a while ago. So I'm good. Thanks though. I was sad to hear about Chris. That is a bummer, it must feel like a betrayal. That's got a hurt. I never thought that would happen. I'm glad to hear you have work, that is a huge blessing. Huge. I pray for you all the time. Thanks for all the love and support.
Love Curtis

Elder Perrin - 15 July 2009

Mommy I just love you!! I just want to give you a big hug right now!!! : ) I'm glad you got me letter in time, and I really am glad it made a difference, or maybe cheered you up, or maybe it just made you miss me ha ha. Who knows, but it's one of those moments or things that happens that people don't share too much, but I wanted at least you to know about it, because your my mommy and I love you and I know you would appreciate it the most. Maybe I'll share it with everybody else later or something, but I just am glad you liked it. Thanks.

So do you want to hear something kind of surprising? You mentioned Sydni and Jon not being able to make it to the reunion or whatever, but I think a lot about Sydni, surprisingly. I don't know why. But sometimes I just think about her and want her to come back so badly. And I don't even know how lost she is, she's awesome really, and that's the saddest part. Sometimes it brings tears to my eyes thinking about it, that she really could not be with us after this life, she just might not make it, she can't. And it is just so sad. And I know she wants to go to the temple, I know she wants kids and I know she wants to take them there. And I know she want's to get married there and have a happy family and all this, but she doesn't have any of that, and who knows if she ever will. It's just sad how many women do that, just marry someone who can't take them to the temple, thinking that everything is fine and that it will work out, tricking themselves in a way, when in reality it's the most ridiculous decision that anyone could make, it's like sacrificing your eternal life, not to mention sacrificing all your happiness and peace in this life. Why would anyone want to do that?? And then to think about after this life and how God will have to say sorry, you knew, you chose not to follow my commandments, and thats it. Oh my gosh it makes me sad. But I don't know Gods judgments, It's just the whole fact of the possibility of never seeing her after, when life is over, will she be there??? Makes me sad. Anyways, I think about that wierd stuff alot, what else do I have to think about???

So did you ever give my ward letter to the ward??? Because I'm pretty sure I wrote one. It was intended to go to the ward, to maybe post it on the bulletin board or something like that. Did that get taken care of??? Let me know. I wish I could've been there to see the organ playing, I love that stuff. You're so good at that stuff, your just amazing. I decided I want you to teach me to sing when I get home, deal?? Except you don't really get much out of it, he he , sorry : ) So man, sounds like it's impossible to find a job, that gives me a lot of hope, but oh well. How's Zach, how's Charlie, how's Tam, how's Chels?

This week we might have found "the one" no joke. Actually, we might have found two of them. That would be so sick, but one of them came to church, and loved everyting we taught, and wants to be baptized. The guy is a little bit strange, in a way, but not too bad. And he's a little bit old, but he's an awesome guy and really nice. He came to church even with his physical disabilities, and he loved it. So there is a really good chance that this could be "the one" ha ha. But the Lord definitely hooked us up this week.

So I've been thinking a lot about my jaw. It looks ridiculous and it's not working too well. Chewing food is impossible, and I think it could be the reason why I can go a week sometimes without going poop. I don't know, but it's frustrating. There's just got to be a way to get this surgery, and it's got to be as soon as possible. Like, I got to do it next summer, because I think it might be doing damage to my teeth. I don't know, but it's all just frustrating, because my mouth is always sore because of it. I think about it a lot.

Anyways, that was my week, well not really. Did I tell you that I saw my first crash live??? That was crazy. So did you know I could be in the city my entire mission??? I have 3 transfers left, and I could be here all 3. That would be crazy. So are you all down if we go to 'The Pie', just us, when I get back??? Or do you think everyone should be there???? Let me know.

Love you so much, love love love love your cute little son Curtis : )

Elder Perrin - 7 July 2009

Josh is home? That is crazy! To be honest it just makes really nervous to be thinking about it. I cant' believe you forgot to tell me about that fathers day!!! How could you forget!!! That is so cool, that is what I'm talking about, that's the stuff people remember, that is so so cool. I wish I could've been there. I'm all nervous wirting this email, it just gives me a stomache turn, thinking about Josh, coming home, aahhh I just get all nervous.

This week was good. I think if might be picking up a little bit, finally, after all our hard work, I think maybe we have a few investigators here that could progress, that would be a miracle. Ithank the lord everytime we have a second lesson, that is a miracle in itself. The weather was super nice this week, fourth of july was crazy. It was absolutely pointless doing missionary work, but at night it was tight. Everyone goes to Indiana to buy illegal fireworks, and they drop money, a lot of money on these fireworks. So just imagine a firework show, like a professional one, throughout the whole city of Chicago. We found a little alley party and joined in for a bit, and watched all their crazy fireworks, the best ones though are the bombs. When they go off it just sound like a grenade 'boooooom" and then if you stand close enough it pushes you back. All day those would just go off randomely, and then car alarms would all go off and people would jump. It was crazy, Chicago was like a war zone around here. But missionary work was impossible on the fourth , you can imagine why. Everyone is down at the lake, or busy getting drunk around here. I can't believe Josh is home, that is crazy, that was 2 years ago when he left, that was forever ago. I can't believe it's already been forever, I mean two years ha ha. Well have an awesome week, We'll see you soon. Love curt

Elder Perrin - 1 July 2009

Well, life is crazy and just keeps going. Josh gets home, I forgot about that one, that should be fun. I feel bad I have only written him once my entire mission. You should tell him to call me haha, just kiddin. I feel like a loner kinda. We have a new Mission Pres, I'm going to meet him today. All my senior companions went home, all my mission buds went home, and Josh gets home, plus we got a missionary reduction of like 15 missionaries here, so things are a little different. The borders for my area are a little bigger now too. As far as missionary work, well I'm not gonna fluff it up for ya, it's good, but the same. We just talk to a million people a day, set up appointments, tract, go by the appointments which cancel, then keep looking for more people. Once in a while we get let in a door to teach someone, but then we never have another lesson because they lose interest and don't want to do anything. And so the cycle continues until we find the one, the person who is waiting, the one who has been waiting for their whole life, one day we'll find that person. But yeah, we haven't found that person yet, but Lord knows we're trying to. It's crazy how many people we talk to a day, and how you would think that at least one of those people would be ready, but nope, so you keep looking and asking everybody if they want to hear, and then someone says sure!!! And then you go by for the appointment and the house number they gave you doesn't exsist! ha ha. Thats just how it works. Ask Josh what I mean. He probably knows what I'm talking about. I'll tell you all about it when I get back. It'll be great. We can go to The Pie and I'll tell you all about missionary work from Chicago.

I'm so glad you do FHE, that's so cool. I love charlie, why is he so cool? He really is. Thanks for checking school out for me, I'm sure there will be no problem from doing the online thing, just let me know when to do it. As for the scholorship, anything I can get will help. If you think it's a good one to apply for, go for it. I appreciate all the help you're giving me though, so thanks so much. Let me know if I can do anything.

Well the gospel is true, the Book of Mormon is awesome. The words of the prophets are from God. God loves us. We really are his children, and we really do have so much potential. Trusting in the lord with all heart, not leaning on our own understanding, and acknowledging him in everything really is the best way to live life. He is GOD. He is EVERYTHING. He is LOVE.
Luv Curtis

Elder Perrin - 24 June 2009

Charlie had a cavity!!!!! what!!!!! You still have my dance pictures? You know the sad thing is that you're right, there were a lot of girls that wanted me, but I didn't even see that. I was too blind. I wish I would've been smarter.

So your email was really true about our thoughts. In my opinion, I don't know how valid this is or not, but I think that our thoughts is the last battle, the very last one. It's like the movie gone in 60 seconds, he saves the hardest car for last, or I don't know, but the last battle we fight is the hardest. Once we have all of our actions trained to the point where we don't commit sin like that much more, it all comes to the purification of the mind. And you can tell the difference between someone who is good, but doesn't have the pureness of mind, and someone who is good and does have the pureness of mind. There's a huge difference, but it's the hardest battle to fight. becuase you can have a bad thought and then choose to not act on it, and ok, not too hard. But then try to not have that thought in the first place, that is so hard. I think it's every ones battle though, not just a select few. So I don't know.

Anyway this week was transfers, today actually. We have a new mission president. His name is President Dahl. I'm still here in the city and with Elder Melchor, but the city boundaries are all changed up because they got rid of a few elders in the mission. Actually the mission took a huge cut in missionaries, so everything is kind of new and stuff. But we're doing good, we just keep going, talking to a thousand people a day and knocking doors and all that. We teach here and there but not really coming up with anything. You would think after awhile there would be something, but not yet.

But hey, that doesnt' sound so good about the law suit, That's a lot of money. You should hire my mission president to do it, he's a really good lawyer : ) . But we got a new apartment, it's actually a basement and it's pretty nice, I can't complain. The only thing is that it's way away from where we have to buy groceries. Before we were a 1 minute walk away, now were like a 10 minute bike ride away. So it's all good, I wish I had some cool stories for you, but they are all in my journal. As far as email I've kept, well I 've had to delete a bunch because I don't have enough room. So anyway, I'm sending the memory card home today for sure. I think. I'm so sorry I know you want pictures. It's so hard to get everything done though, and I still have to write letters to you all. I got Charlie's letter. THANK YOU CHARLIE!!!!! I LOVE YOU!!!! The treat was so tasty. I really loved it. : ) And I will write back as soon as I can. So how big is your jump for your bike??? That's so cool. We should make a bike track with a lot of jumps when I get back. That would be so much fun. Well I love you. Thanks mom, you are so awesome. How was fathers day? Did you do anything special? I know what I would do if it was Father's Day and my wife wanted to give me a gift, ha, sorry. Love you. Have a good week.

Love curtis

Elder Perrin - 17 June 2009

Hey! Guess what? I really am glad for the letter response you gave me, it was really nice compared to the one Brian gave me, don't show him this email by the way. For example, I know I shouldn't send emails about what I'm not liking here or things that make me mad or stuff like that, so I was kinda worried after I wrote that email that everyone was going to think, "Oh what a bad missionary, he needs to love his companion, he needs to learn patience, he doesn't have the spirit, he's not doing a good job bla bla bla you know how it goes." But you just read right through the words and figured I just had a bad week, and needed to vent or just recieve advice or whatever you want to call it. Brian thinks I don't love my companion ( which I do by the way, he's actually a really awesome guy and easy to get a long with), and he said, "No wonder you don't have success, the people can see right through you." So he thinks because I don't love my companion, the people don't see the love in me etc... you know how it goes. Well that's all a bunch of Malarchy. I don't think he realizes what I was trying to say, or the message I was trying to send, which was, "I'm learning a lot of patience, I'm learning to forgive, and I'm learning the true test of diligence." So anyway, thanks for understanding and not throwing judgements out there, that really made me so happy : )

So I didn't know that you also saw a difference between the mission I'm serving and the one Josh and Mitch are serving. That's such a relief you know that because everyone that serves here knows that secret, but I didn't know you knew too.

So guess what though, Do you remember Antonio, the guy me and Elder Stuart found a long time ago, who needed to get divorced? Well he finally got divorced after he worked with a lawer and sacraficed his right arm to pay the guy. So he's divorced finally and getting baptized!!!! Sweet!!! Not only that, but fiance and his step son are surprisingly accepting the gospel and are going to get baptized. She stopped smoking which I never thought would happen so soon, and now their house doesn't smell like smoke, and when he comes to church he doesn't smell like smoke either. Sweet!!!! So I think if he gets baptized soon I'll be able to go because I'm right next door to my last area. Man, this was like 7 months ago or so when we found this guy, and he's finally getting baptized. I'll send you a picture of him today.

By the way, I didn't get a letter from Charlie, I'm sorry, but I'll let you know if it comes. When did you send it? So we're moving out of our Apartment tomorrow to a different one about a few miles away. That should be crazy eh?/?

This week was pretty good I guess, I got a lot of enthusiasm back from an exchange we did, Elder Bell gave me some words that have helped him and it was good, plus I read the story of Abinidi and just put it into prospective. I realize that I may not have the baptisms that others have, but I still have an impact, and I may not ever know how deep that impact is, but there is always an impact. Like I said a long time ago, I may be planting seeds my whole mission, and I think just last week I was sick of planting seeds and never seeing a harvest. You know what I mean.

So no one has told me how the basement is coming along, still. does that mean it's on hold again??? ha ha, I figured, that's funny. $ Did I tell you about blurb.com??? It's so cool you can make books!!! This sister showed me a book she made, it was soo coooool!! You should try it and tell me if it works. So how's the scripture reading going? Prayers??? I struggle with prayers too just so ya know, it's really hard for me. I say them, but it's so hard to make them sincere, but I'm getting better I think. Let me know any tricks if you have any. Well have a good week, thanks for the letter and the powerful words of advice, I can't wait to ask you for advice when I'm married and have kids, It'll BE GREAT!!! ha ha !! Love you mommy.

Love curt

June 10, 2009 - Elder Perrin

Oh hey, so I'm pretty retarded for sending dads letter so soon. I thought I missed fathers day actually, and I didn't even realize it was on the 21st. oops, so yeah, save it. It should make him tear up, if it doesn't let me know, because that letter would make the grinch tear up. For crying out loud it made me tear up. This year is weird in Chicago, because it's still cold. It's still sweater weather here, I don't think it was like this last year. But I don't know, this week was ok I guess. How can I explain it, well the best way I can explain how I feel is that I'm sick of being a missionary, really, I'm sick of it. I'm tired, disappointed, tired, my head hurts, I'm tired of baby sitting, I cant' even tell you how tired I am of babysitting my companions. I'ts like they were all breast fed until the day they left on their missions, and their parents did everything for them. It's so annoying to have to be like their mother and clean up after them and help them to not be stupid and this and that and it's just annoying. How hard is it to clean the dishes and pick up after yourself? Not that hard is it? Is it? I didn't think so but apparently it's just way too much. And saying something about it doesn't do anything of course, you know that , and being nice about it doesn't change it either. Man, and then it's just ridiculous the missionary work in Chicago, I cant' count the number of people I talk to every day to try and share the gospel. Every person I see, I talk to, hoping that one might listen, and once in a while they do, but in the end it all amounts to nothing, absolutely nothing. Just another seed planted and that's it. No one is really interested, and I'm just tired of being a missionary. Talking to people all day, canceled appointments, members who don't understand, companion who all he cares about is his girlfriend, long hours, rejection, no sleep, no music, tracting, no results, no results whatsoever, feeling guilty all day because I'm never good enough or perfect and list just goes on. Yeah so I'm supposed to remember Christ and his atonement and his comfort he can give bla bla yes the holy ghost does that but I don't even have that many experiences with the holy ghost, I know other people who aren't missionaries who have way more spiritual experience than I do. when do I get the cool experience of having the holy ghost whisper something in my ear to tell me where to go or what to say, aren't I entitled to that stuff? Or maybe that stuff isn't for everyone, or maybe I don't believe enough, or have enough faith, or am not worthy enough, or am not spiritual enough. Great, just another reason I can feel worse about myself, the missionary who should be having all these spiritual things happening isn't good enough to have those experiences, even though he's obedient to the rules and is trying his best. Nope, I'm just not good enough. That's just great, I'm just ready to be done with this, I'm just tired of it and ready to be done. But I can't even slack is the worst part, because then there's this whole thing about god holding me accountable for all the people I didn't talk to and for not trying my best, and having their blood on my garments at the last day because I didn't talk to them on the street or at their door. That scripture in Jacob 1:19 just makes me feel like every mistake I make I'm going to hell for. Great, that just adds to my excitement to be a missionary, when's my nap time? It's not even going to come after the mission because of school, work, school, work, and then on top of that I have to figure out how to get a social life, because the one I had or thought I would come back to is macking on other guys and it all just makes me sick. Well I apologize for venting, it was probably unnesesary, I don't know how to spell that word, but anyway I really enjoyed the email, thanks so much. Tell charlie I miss him. As for school, well just let me know if I can do anything, 4000 miles away from home. I forgot what else I was going to say, but I apologize for going off like that. It really is a blessing to be a missionary, I shouldn't complain like that. forgive me. I love you and I hope you have a good week. Tell Chels and Tam good luck for the job and stuff, I am still going to try to write Tam and Chels, tell them sorry for that. Love you tonz!
love Curtis

June 3, 2009

So charlie has homework? That is pretty crazy, but I think I honestly remember getting homework too. Although I didn't always tell you, I would always get reading charts to fill out, but I learned your signature, or I think I would just lie about if I had read or not and then you would just sign it. I think it was like 10 minutes a day. And then I had homework to practice cursive too no? It's a little fuzzy, maybe I didn't get homework, who knows. Charlie looks so cool with no teeth. Zach looks ridiculous with his beard, it's not even fully grown in. It just looks gross, it's like a half attempt to grow it out. No I haven't heard from him still, to be honest I'm not really counting on it. The thing that kills me the most, or one of the things, is missing charlie grow up, that kinda hurts sometimes. You can't take back the years, which just hurts at times. But oh well, that's what I signed up for. So job searching is hard? Well that's just great for me, I can't tell you how excited I am NOT, to come back to that. And all the skills I tried to get before I left, are going to do me no good when I get back because the construction market is probably down the drain. I think the coming home really could be harder than the leaving, especially from what it sounds like. I appreciate the money you sent, I only needed like 20 or so, but well 200 bucks works too. I shouldn't need to use it, and I'm going to be selling the other bike I have. So I apologize for that. How are the house projects coming along? Are you still working on the basement, or did you switch back to yard? This week was good, yesterday was zone conference and I learned a lot. Our mission President leaves in like 3 weeks, which is really sad, but it think I'll get over it. I'll send the memory card home today, there isn't that much on it, but I'll still send it. So what is Chelsea going to do? How is she going to get a job? Why did she quit the other one? I don't understand, I really don't, why did she quit? How does she plan on getting another one? Who would quit a job in times like these? Does she just want a job that gives insurance? She needs higher training for that right? I got a letter from her the other day, it made me a little worried to be honest. It wasn't really clear what she was trying to say. I hope she's alright. I think I'll write her. Well I love you, thanks for all the support and love. I'm glad my words could help a little bit, it just seems to me that you will never have a break from worry for your kids, which makes me a little sad because I wish I could make it better. But all these experiences, mine and yours and dads too helps me to want to have a strong family, and helps me learn the best way to have a strong family. So if there is anything I can do or say, or write I guess, just let me know. I love you so much and can't wait to be with you again. : )
love
Your Curtis

May 27, 2009 - Elder Perrin

So I read your email and I could tell that you have a lot on your mind, and I can tell you have thought about things a lot. Maybe I am the one to vent to, if I am I appreciate it, I really do. I miss you and love you mom, and sometimes without realizing I think you can be just way to hard on yourself, and try to do too much. I think sometimes we forget to take care of ourselves first before we take care of others, but like they say, we can't help others if we aren't in the right position to help them. I just see how you care so much for other people and just want them to do the right thing and them to be happy, but I wonder if this is at a sacrifice of your own happiness. Do I even make sense right now? So I see how you love dad and your family so much, but when they aren't doing something they shouldn't, well it might cause so much worry or anxiety that you might just sacrifice your own happiness worrying about them, when in fact people can choose, people know what is right and wrong. So I guess my point is that you shouldn't worry or blame yourself for anything that isn't perfect in life, because I know you have done your very best, and you will never know how much I really admire you and look up to you for what you have done for me. Just remember that there is only one opinion that counts, and I know sometimes we get caught up with what other people think about us, and it's really hard especially with family, but really there is only one opinion that counts. If we just do all we can to be good with our Father in Heaven, the rest will fall into place, sooner or later. Most of the time later. I just pray that you know how much you are loved, by me and your family, and especially by the one who loves you the most. So yes we know dad isn't perfect, but neither am I. And I know that when Jesus made the biggest difference in other peoples lives, he did it by a quiet, humble example. So thank you for being the example in the family that we could always count on, being that example really does go a long ways. So I wish I could be there to help, and give you a hug and tell you I love you. But most of all I just want you to be happy, and I really just hope you don't hold any blame on yourself for anything that happens or has happened. Just do what you know how to do best, love. Just love your family and give hugs and kisses and everything will be Ok, I promise. : ) well I love you and miss you, and I hope you have a good week. : )
love
Your Son Curtis

So I didn't even see the second half of the email. So I had a thought about the whole fathers day gift thing, and it made me think of what the psychiatrist said. He's a simple guy, and that really is true. The gift that will mean the most is the simplest one sometimes. Here's my opinion, the gifts that mean the most are the ones that touch the heart. So you got to figure out a way to touch his heart. Buying things, well, that isn't the best gift, it's just buying something. The only fathers day I remember is when we put our handprints on a paper and framed it and said I love you. Remember? Simple? But it sticks. So the best thing to do is find a creative way to tell him you love him. That's it. And it doesn't come in a box. There are a lot of things you can do, and it can be fun too. Take his favorite candy and write I love you with it somewhere, or do something like that, that is different. Paint him a picture of you and him together with you five little kids, like a water color picture, or something, or cut our pictures of the ensign of Christ and make a something cool with them for him or I don't know. Ok so all this was just my opinion, but I hope you think of something.
love curt

May 20, 2009 - Elder Perrin

So I think I understood your story with Nate and Zach. It was that they were going to go golfing on Sunday? At first I thought it was about Zach saving money, but from what I understood it was about golfing on Sunday right? Well I don't really know if you wanted me to reply on that one or not, but I kinda wanted to give my oppinion too I guess. I think that you are basically right, going golfing on Sundays, well, would not seem like a bad thing anymore, to Zach, and if I didn't go on the mission, it wouldn't be a big deal to me either. The thing is that, even though no one is perfect and you did you best as parents, we kind of grew up thinking it wasn't really a big deal to break the sabbath, and since there are no definitinons of breaking the sabbath, going golfing wouldn't seem like a bad thing. After a while of going out to eat on Sundays, and going to Lagoon a few times on Sunday, and doing family outings on Sunday, after a while I think Satan just blurs the line of what is right and wrong. It even happens to the best of us. No one has a perfect Sunday, well not many. Are the things we are doing really drawing us nearer to our Savior? Some may justify watching TVv is Ok, others justify playing sports or things like that, others justify video games. The thing is that all of us have something we can do better on Sundays, and yes golfing isn't right because we aren't focused on the Savior, and we're spending money and all that, but I think in this case with Zach, and Nate too is patience. I don't think he understands the importance of the Sabbath, but speaking personally, I knew what was right and wrong when I was home, and all I really wanted was a good example. I think that's all you can really do, is set a good example and bare your testimony. Let the spirit be the one to exhort. But anyway, I'm sorry to hear the frustrations, I really wish I could be there, I think I would be able to help a lot. But it's alright, I only have two more seasons and then I'm back home already. It's so wierd how time get measured as a missionary. It goes so slow as it happens, but then looking back it just seems like it's gone. Its just wierd I guess. So how's Josh doing? I still need to write him a letter, I feel horrible. I think I'll just write him when he gets home, but I have definatly failed on that one. How is Dan and Marne? How are they taking this whole thing with Nate? Are they pretty excited for Josh to come home? Well the work here is good. I have a bunch of funny stories, but none really have to do with missionary work, so I think I'll just wait and let you read my journal. I've done really well on that. I have written basically every day and every important event on my mission. It's pretty sweet. I'm so glad I have no more winters in Chicago. I hope I get to stay in the city through the whole summer, that would be really nice. How's the basement? I forgot to ask on the phone? Progressing? How's the fam? How's Chels doing? Is she Ok? Let me know how things are. Thanks for venting to me, I feel really special. I wish I could give you the biggest hug right now and tell you how much I love my mommy. So I love you, consider this your hug. MMMMMMMM!!! There ha ha muah, kiss too. love you, tell dad to be good, and tell everyone I love them.
Love, Curtis

Elder Perrin - 5 May 2009

Hey, sorry about last weeks email. I actually wasn't trying to make anyone feel bad, but I might have, my bad on that one. I actually was just writing some things down that have been on my mind, they weren't actually pointed to anyone in specific. I think a lot of it could have been an experience I had while we went to this members house. They were really close to having their first baby, and they lived in just this tiny little attic above this house, it was really small, but really clean and when I walked in I felt peace. While we were giving the lesson and talking with them, it just felt like I was in the temple, and to be honest I think I just had the strongest desire to make my future house feel the exact same way. All these thoughts came to my mind, about how a lot of people care about what their house looks like, or they care about the cool stuff that's in their house, instead of what their house feels like, and it made me kind of sad. It's just sad how Satan blinds everybody, even members of the church. and it's just sad how happiness gets confused.

I think it's kind of sad how in the church sometimes that children kind of get their testimonies spoon fed, so when it comes time for adulthood, sometimes we withdraw from the church because we haven't really received a testimony for ourselves, but I think later on it comes once we realize the blessing we had before when we were actually choosing the right and living the gospel. I think sometimes it can be necassary for young people to withdraw. Sometimes that is what is necessary I think so that the person can gain their own testimony. I think the important thing is just to let them go and not keep trying to convince them to come back. It could lead to more withdrawal. I think patience and prayer and love is the best thing that someone can do to help a loved one back. They will eventually, sooner or later, realize the correct path, sometimes after a lot of pain and grief that could have been avoided, but in the end they come back. I think a mistake sometimes parents make is they become overly worried, and sometimes start to blame themselves for the decisions their children make, and then surprisingly maybe even become depressed, or less happy, and loose sight and trust in Heavenly Father. The best thing I think to do is just be even happier, and even more righteous than before. Smile more, laugh more, read the scriptures more and pray more, and wait. I don't know, hopefully my kids aren't as bad as I was, hopefully not worse. Most likely my kids will be just like me though.

I'm glad you had fun on your little getaway mom, you deserve some time. Man , do you get sad sometimes that almost all your kids are out of the house? I would be sad. It's like the mission in some ways. Somedays you just can't wait to get to be all alone again, but then once their gone your just like uh, great, I miss them. Now what do I do? I don't know, you guys luck out because of Charlie. So this Sunday is the last phone call until I am home, I think. That is pretty crazy. It kind of feels like the last stretch before home, but at the same time, I still have a lot of time left even after this Sunday. So just pray that we can have our goals of member work accomplished.

I'm basically switching over my missionary tactics, but it requires more patience, and smarter tactics. But I think it will work in the end, and pay off more in the long run. You see, missionary work is not about tracting or contacting people, even though those can be important. I don't know, I'm kind of trying something a little different, but I think it's working. Anyway, yeah it has warmed up a little here. I'm pretty sure it's going to stay. If it doesn't I'll cry, because It's almost summer and it shouldn't be cold. So what time do you want me to call on Sunday. I was thinking that I could do it at night, does that work? Hopefully it does. Well have a good week. Ihope all is well. Things are good here. Pray I don't get transferred. He He.

Love Curt

Elder Perrin - 27 April 2009

So how's it going? How is life? Life here is good. NO complaints. How is the weather? Yesterday I had to wear a coat and beanie for some reason. It was like 80 degrees one day and then like 38 the next. It doesn't make any sense, because it's one month before summer. It shouldn't be 38 degrees. But oh well I guess. Elder Melchor and I are doing good. We didn't teach much this week , but we're trying really hard to work with members a lot more, since most baptisms come from members anyways. That's about where I am at right now. I guess I could write down all my experiences to you all but I really don't feel like right now, sorry about that. I just am not a fan of email. Gettting letters is so much better than emails. I guess I'll try and write a letter today if I have any time. I still got to clean the apartment and cook some stuff and cut my hair and get some stuff for my bike, so we'll see if I have any time. Thanks mom for the really long letter, it's good to hear from ya. I love you and miss you. I can't wait to ask for your wise council and advice when I get home. And I might have you reteach me piano again, we'll see about that. I think I want to take a nap today. I think if I have extra time that a nap would take priority over the letter to dad.

So Elder Melchor and I have been having a pretty good time here doing some crazy things some crazy ideas with the work. I hope it all works out. So what's the deal with Chelsea? Is this sickness going to stop her from serving a mission? I can't believe she's going to go. That means I wont' see her for a really long time, like a really long time. Like it's basically as if like my sister died, and then 3 and a half years later I find out that she's alive and I see her for the first time, and it's just super weird and so crazy. That's what it's like.

So do you have Zach's address? I think I'm going to try to write him a letter. Maybe I can talk some words of sense for him. Maybe he needs to hear from me. I guess I'll just get over the fact that I'll never hear from him, but I think I'll write him. I guess I still feel partly guilty for where he's at and I need to write him to rid myself of the guilt I have about this. It basically is tearing me up inside. I don't know how to explain it. But at the same time, I guess it could be worse. I am pretty sure he'll come back, but it still sucks. I wouldn't even care as much if he maybe had his crap all figured out and was all clean, and like died or something. At least I would see him after this life, but now, if he dies, he is basically toast. I imagine as parents you feel pretty crappy about this too, but I hope you and dad realize that the way to do this is to do it like Alma's dad did. Fast and pray and fast and pray.

Either we're serving the lord with all our heart and doing all that our leaders ask of us, or we don't, and we foolishly choose to submit to Satan's way, whatever other choice that may be, laziness, anger, no time, excuses bla bla bla the list goes on. As Joshua says, as for me and my house, we will serve the lord. If we're not serving the lord, who are we serving? Think of how Satan laughs at us every time we are weak in the church, especially because of the promise we made to serve the Lord with everything we got, and then he convinces us that it's too hard or time consuming. Man if we could just see his little smirk every time he wins, I'm pretty sure we would want to punch him in the face, and then in order to shove it back in his face, we would do what the Lord wants and then even more, just so that we could see his disappointment. But why don't we understand that the Lord's way is the easy way? Why? Why? Why? Obviously when were breaking the commandments, even the little ones like little things prophets say, we're not as happy as we could be. We've experienced both sides, yet we still don't get it do we. We still want to choose the hard way. Not only do we sacrifice the peace of the spirit, but in the end, we sacrifice maybe even eternal life? How stupid and mindless can we be??? Who loves the feeling of the temple? I do. Everyone does. Yet why is it that when our home should feel the exact same way, we still fill it with arguing and fighting and tears and sadness, and with the world and with Satan, he just laughs at us!!!! Why do we do that? Why do we settle for less!!! It's like we all know the girlfriend who deserves a better boyfriend, one who doesn't treat her like crap, but she still settles for less! Why do we put ourselves through such misery and heartache when all we have to do is do what the Lord says, and we're safe, and happy, and our family is happy. Man, why does pride have to fill our lives. Don't we know that cars, and more cars, and nice things and envy and being better than our neighbor will be the cause of destruction, even among those that think they are righteous??? Why then do we set our hearts and vain and pointless things like vacations and our house, and cars and gadgets, when they get us nowhere, and we can't even do our calling, after all the Lord has given us. We read the Book of Mormon and we think to ourselves, man how sad. The people just went right back to being wicked. That's so sad how they became so prideful in such a short amount of time.... we are no better than they!!!! Yet we don't even see it. Our pride just blinds our eyes and the world, little by little just tears us down. Let's do what we know to be right, and lets drop the pride, and most of all, let's drop the world behind. We're supposed to be different. We're supposed to stick out. Let's stick out a little more and choose the right and serve the Lord. Serve the Lord. He is greater than the rest, and only he can offer true happiness.
Love Curtis